The only price of admission is one tab of acid dropped lightly onto your tongue. As you walk through the door, you'll be handed a basket that contains damn near all kinds of drugs. It is required that you all dress in bright colors and that everyone wear shorts, not pants. In addition, extra drugs will be awarded to those who wear sunglasses, hats, and/or masks.
During the first hour, while the drugs wait to kick in, my friends will build a fire that roars into the sky and lights up the dark night with flames the height of a telephone wire. At this point in the evening, my guests shall smoke spliffs, drink beer, and play games of every sort. And I promise the necessary supplies will be politely supplied to build the world's largest pillow fort.
Once the drugs have kicked in and everyone's properly twisted, the speeches will begin. Tell the world of my origins; describe my losses and wins; tell them how much I loved my kin. And then tell my stories of glory; my class was the warrior elite. Remind them I took drugs, but only quietly, then describe how strong my hugs were and how I only responded to love. Do your best to do me justice; I only put my trust in you.
Once the speeches are finished, it will be time for dinner, and they''ll serve my favorite meal. You'll eat bacon filled waffles with ice cream on top and won't stop until you've had your fill. The night will end with a giant, Eric-shaped bomb, some cheers, and a sharp explosion. And if you forget everything else, remember me in that moment.
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